KC Royals: Yed Nost Explains Why Tuesday’s Loss is Your Fault [Parody Video]
By John Viril
KC Royals manager Yed Nost gave KC Kingdom an exclusive sit down after Tuesday’s heart-wrenching loss to the Chicago White Sox. Nost, was overcome with emotion after the KC Royals’ elite relief tandem of Kelvin Herrera and Wade Davis blew a 7th inning lead. Nost let down his hair and finally told us what he really thought.
You can see video of our conversation here:
You can also watch this clip on Youtube
Along with the video with KC Royals manager Yed Nost, I also will offer a complete transcript of our conversation:
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JV: Do you really mean what you said?
YN: Every word. It’s about time you people learn what I really think. Maybe, if you listen, you’ll learn something about the game.
JV: You sound bitter.
YN: You bet I’m bitter. This team is in first place—well, used to be in first place—and what do I hear? Geeks that can’t take their grubby little fingers off their slide rules long enough to learn anything useful, want to tell me what to do. They yell and scream like they know something, and they get into the dome of my players. I can’t have that in a playoff race.
JV: Should you do anything different to win games down the stretch run?
YN: No. We shouldn’t change a thing. Changing things is when you get all out of whack. And that’s when you lose. You people who don’t know anything should learn from those of us who have played the game. We’re the only ones that can understand what matters.
Yed Nost: “You wish you were as smart as me.”
JV: Are you saying that sabermetrics haven’t changed the game?
YN: The only thing sabermetrics has changed is a few guys conned their owner into believing that they know things other people don’t to get a job. Honesty, the whole thing is nothing more than a jobs program for MIT grads that want to work in baseball. Except, nobody has ever hit a baseball using an algorithm.
JV: So, what should we do?
YN: If you just leave me alone, I’m going to do things the Altanta Braves way, and I’ll lead this team to the playoffs just like I did the Brewers in 2008.
JV; Umm. Er. Umm. Yed, you got fired 3 weeks before the season ended.
YN: What difference does that make? They got there, didn’t they? And I can do the same thing for the KC Royals if you’ll just let me. Just come to the ballpark like you’re supposed to, and I’ll give you something that will give meaning to your squalid little lives.
There you have it KC Royals fans, the unvarnished wisdom of Yed Nost – without any filters.