Kansas City Royals: A horror movie for each season of the past decade

Did the last season for the Kansas City Royals remind anyone of a horror movie? It seemed that way to me. No matter what the club mustered, they finished in fourth place of the American League Central with a record of 59-103.

Like a lot of horror movies, the 2019 Kansas City Royals were tough to watch. Like some scary movies, the 2019 didn’t have a happy ending, though–and this again is like a lot of horror movies–there will be a sequel coming to a Kauffman Stadium near you in 2020.

Thinking about last year got me thinking, Which scary movie best represents the Royals’ 2019 season?

I took that idea and ran with it, eventually broadening it to cover the last decade. For each season since 2010, I looked at how the Royals did that year and found a horror movie that I thought best goes with it.

(Before going further, yes, I know the main picture alongside this article is not, in fact, from a horror movie, but a) it’s awesome and b) a lot of people dress up as characters from Star Wars, especially for Halloween, so it kind of fits, yes?)

(Yes.)

Now, the first rule to this thing is that I’ve had to have seen the particular horror movie. I started with a total of 31 horror movies, ranging from 1974’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre to 2018’s A Quiet Place. (Both dope horror movies, by the way, that ultimately didn’t make the list.)

Another rule about the movies: if I use a movie from a franchise, I cannot use another movie in that same franchise that directly follows the first movie I used. Meaning, say, if I go with 1997’s I Know What You Did Last Summer, then I cannot use 1998’s (hilariously titled) I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

Movies in the same cinematic universe, though? That’s fair. That’s game. We’ll get to that to eventually.

Regarding what constitutes a “horror” movie, well, for that we look to our dear old friend Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart. Even though he was opining about a completely different sect of the film industry when he wrote his most famous line, it can also be applied to define a horror movie: I know it when I see it.

Finally, as you can see from my examples, the horror movie doesn’t have to be released in the same year as the Royals team about which I write.

Let’s start with the 2010 Kansas City Royals, a team that began the season with a lame-duck manager and ended with one that will go down in local lore.